In The Flow with Kelley Johnson, Women Pursuing God's Spirit in Life + Leadership

Ep 22 Surrendering Expectations, Clinging to God's Promises

• Kelley Johnson • Season 2 • Episode 22

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What happens when you've tried everything and nothing seems to work? Kelley Johnson and her guests Nadya Dickson and Pastor Sheila Walls dive deep into the transformative power of remaining in God's presence, drawing inspiration from John 15.

Remaining isn't passive—it's an active, expectant posture of heart. Pastor Sheila vulnerably shares her decade-long journey through infertility, revealing how she exhausted every possible solution before surrendering completely to God's timing. "We say words like 'His will, His way,' but the Lord taught me how to live that out during that 10-year period," she reflects, offering profound wisdom about clinging to God's promises while releasing our own expectations.

For visionaries and driven individuals, remaining can feel especially challenging. The conversation explores how God sometimes prevents our usual strategies from working because He's inviting us into deeper dependence. "God has the right to change our vision at any time," Pastor Sheila notes, reminding us that what matters most is staying connected to our true source of life.

The episode transitions beautifully into a discussion about authentic friendship with Kelley's besties, Stephanie Blakely and Trina Jones. Their candid conversation reveals how genuine, non-judgmental relationships create safe spaces for vulnerability and growth. "We create this environment where we can all be who we are genuinely," Trina shares, highlighting how true friendship mirrors our relationship with God—both require consistency, transparency, and the freedom to evolve.

Whether you're navigating a difficult waiting season or seeking deeper connections, this episode offers practical wisdom for remaining anchored in what matters most. Download this season's companion resource at IamKelleyJohnson.com and discover how abiding in Christ transforms not just your circumstances, but your very being.

Stay in the flow—subscribe wherever you listen, watch on YouTube, and download free devotionals at iamkelleyjohnson.com.

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RAYAH is my Spirit-led leadership cohort for Christian women who want to grow in both spiritual authority and executive excellence. Learn more and join the interest list here https://www.iamkelleyjohnson.com/rayah

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Kelley's book about overcoming trauma to find your God-given purpose.

INFINITE: The Power of Love https://a.co/d/51Fy4eq
A six-session Bible study about diversity, equity and inclusion.

Kelley Johnson is a creator, builder, and catalyst who helps leaders achieve breakthrough—personally, professionally, and spiritually. She spent 20 years in corporate leadership before founding KEIRUS, a learning and talent management firm serving thousands of leaders worldwide. 

This show is not a substitute for professional therapy or advice. If you need professional support, we encourage you to seek a qualified mental health, medical, financial, legal, pastoral or other accredited professional.

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Introducing In the Flow Podcast

Speaker 1

Let's get in the flow . Hey , I'm Kelly Johnson and I'm so excited you're here . This season we're tapping into the power of remaining in God . Our inspiration is John , chapter 15 , as we explore the Lord's invitation into deeper intimacy and identity in Him . Here's what you'll find in this episode and identity in him .

Speaker 2

Here's what you'll find in this episode , because if we're visionaries , we're driven by the things we see and we architect towards those things . Right , which is a God-given gift . But he has the right to change our vision . Yeah Right , he has the time . He has the right to change it at any time , and we pray . It's his vision anyway , but sometimes there's a season for vision and then when that season ends and it's time for a new one , we have to allow him to birth those things in us , and that takes remaining .

Speaker 2

The other thing I think about when we say remain is abide , remain in me abide in me and that is active , that is actively engaging our faith in being part of his life source .

Speaker 1

Welcome to In the Flow life source . Welcome to In the Flow . Thanks for joining me and some of my friends and thought leaders as we pursue living our faith deeply and holistically . I am so excited about the friends who are flowing with me and you . This season You're going to hear thoughtful stories from Stephanie Blakely , trina Jones , nadia Dixon and Pastor Sheila Walls , infused with theological wisdom from Pastor Amy Cedrone , along with therapy-informed tools from counseling professionals Aspen Hazel and Joy Martin . The conversations are completely unscripted and authentic as we flow in the Holy Spirit . In the Flow is so much more than a podcast . We're creating a movement and to support our growth and personal development , each season I'll share a helpful resource that you can find at IamKelleyJohnsoncom . Now it's time for Conversations that Flow that you can find at IamKellyJohnsoncom . Now it's time for Conversations that Flow . Join me in a combo with Nadia Dixon and Pastor Sheila Walls

Remaining When Usual Methods Fail

Speaker 1

.

Speaker 1

When I think about remain , I think about coming to the end of myself , right , and like there are no more options , like I remember many times in my life , especially in my journey as an entrepreneur , where it's like I've done all I can do humanly , right , yes , in the natural , and yet things maybe did not turn out the way that I wanted to or the way I thought they would , and it's in those moments where all I can do is be , still , is remain . But I also feel like those seasons in my life where the usual strategies , the usual methods or tactics , when they aren't working , I sometimes feel like the Lord is preventing them from working because there's a , there's a different lesson that he wants me to learn , and the only way I'm going to learn it is to not get the result that I expected and to remain long enough in his presence , long enough in his word , to to realize what is it that you want to show me here ? Cause I'd like to just go , go , go right , yes .

Speaker 1

And he's kind of like no , no , I just need you to pause and get this . Whatever the this is . I think those are when I think about remain . It's those times in my life where the usual doesn't work , the usual method , the usual tactic , and initially I'm kind of dumbfounded , I'm like yes , like I'm doing everything I can , yeah right . Yes , like it's always worked in the past . Why isn't it working now ? Yeah , right .

Speaker 2

That's so good .

Speaker 4

I think about the when my husband and I first got married and Sheila had a plan and I had a plan with how we were going to start our family , how we build our family . I mean very specific timing , um , it was all set out , and I think the Lord laughed at my plan , um , because we struggled with infertility and our first child didn't show up for 10 years . And so talk about remaining , and one of the things that I've learned is part of remaining is not just standing still , but it's also remaining in expectation .

Speaker 4

So , it's a level of expectancy , because the Lord showed me that I would be a mom , but he didn't say when , he didn't say how , and so during that 10 year I just had to humble myself and just wait . And I laugh , because you talk about all the methods and I did everything I knew to do everything and the doctors couldn't help . And I remember we were in an in vitro session actually and the doctor was actually praying for me because he couldn't understand why what he was doing was not working .

Speaker 4

There was just no reason for it . And so he , literally he prayed . He was at my knees praying and in that moment I just heard the Lord say you should just stop , because this is not my will for you . And so what I learned during that time ? And words matter , yes , Sheila said . We say words , but the Lord allowed me to really mean and live out the words that I say .

Speaker 4

I always say things like his will , his way , and I embrace his timing Right . I say that , but he taught me how to do that during that 10 year period .

Speaker 1

I want to talk a little bit about because I've always let me just be real transparent . I resist remaining yes , right , I I'm like antsy and I'm like no , but wait , I can do this .

Speaker 2

Yeah , you know .

Speaker 1

And so I want to first understand . We'll start with you , sheila . How did you get to a place where you could even accept that that's what you need to do ?

Speaker 4

I had no choice . Okay , so I think about spiritually

Nadia's Journey Through Infertility

Speaker 4

. I did all the like spiritual things you're supposed to do , right , I fasted .

Speaker 4

I prayed yeah , you're supposed to do right . I fasted , I prayed , I shared with a very , very small community and we prayed together . I had all of my declaration statements on my mirror . I mean , I did all the things that I think you're supposed to do right . I changed my diet , I did everything , I went to all the doctors and after a while , it's just like what else is there ? I had a couple of surgeries that I really didn't want to have , but I am literally going to do everything that it takes , and there was such striving in that it wasn't a pleasant time .

Speaker 4

My husband and I , our relationship we are , thank the Lord , we're very close . My husband and I , our relationship we are , thank the Lord , we're very close . But that 10 years made us closer , wow . But I just felt like I can fix this . Yeah , because there is nothing in my life that I have not been able to achieve . Accomplish , and you think about just being infertile . That means that you're not able to produce , and I could not accept that . Oh , I was just like what does that mean ? Because the Lord told us to be fruitful .

Speaker 4

So , I had all the scriptures , kelly . I did it all and at the end , when none of that's working , at some point I just said I've got to get off of this hamster wheel and just stop and allow the Lord to do what he's going to do in the way that he wants to .

Speaker 2

Sheila , did you ever feel because you did everything that was in your power ? Yes , and you felt like it was a biblical mandate . So did you ever feel like it was something you did wrong ? Did the enemy ever try to flip it back on you ?

Speaker 4

Oh , that's a good one I did . I felt like you know the times where I was having a good time and not putting the Lord first .

Speaker 4

I was like , oh , I'm in trouble , he's not happy with some of the decisions

Learning to Surrender Expectations

Speaker 4

that I made and I had this concept of not being fruitful , and so I threw myself into ministry . Looking back , I realized this is what I was doing . I threw myself heavily into ministry and into my career because I'm like I've got to produce somewhere . I've got to produce something , but I did for a long time . I was just like God . I am so sorry , I am please forgive me and we know he's already right , and so it's yeah , it was really .

Speaker 4

He had a plan and I needed to just submit to and accept the plan that he had for me . So I wish I could say that I was like , yes , Lord , let your will be done . I'm so excited about remaining , but it was hard for me and not many people knew our story because I'm also a very super private person , and so just to hear people add their own context to why , why aren't they ?

Speaker 2

having children .

Speaker 4

I mean , I had someone say something like oh , you know what she really values , how she looks and she enjoys working out and she just doesn't want to mess with that . I mean all kinds of things . Yeah , but I allow people to tell the story that they wanted to tell . It's okay . Wow , it's okay , yeah , so that was that was tough .

Speaker 1

It was a tough 10 years so that was . That was tough . It was a tough 10 years . The times that I've had to remain .

Speaker 1

It is I'm on the operating table yeah and I feel like as a as a business owner , as an entrepreneur , that's where the Lord has done the most work in me . That has probably been the deepest spiritual growth in my journey over the last nine , almost 10 years now of being a business owner . And it's not to say that other things , like my marriage and being a mom and other things haven't shaped me , matured me . But I have spent the most time on the operating table in my role as a entrepreneur and having to die to self , and one of those I think you use the word is is striving . Um , I think I told you when I did a session with you I was like I'm a recovering striver , right .

Speaker 1

Like I am in recovery and I can start striving with little thought Right . But when we remain and I love , like the posture of Mary , you know , being at the feet of Jesus . I love the disciple John , how you know , he's the only apostle in the entire Bible who put his head on Jesus's chest right , like that to me is a physical posture of remaining and I want to talk about that too . But let's , let's talk about maybe the just the spiritual standpoint . I don't know that I've ever been closer to the Lord .

Speaker 4

I mean , he taught me how to hear his voice . He taught me how to recognize this is not the direction for you , but this is . And so he did not allow me to stay in my cave and just wait . So there were very specific things that he was doing in me , but there were also assignments that he gave me to , whether it was nurturing someone else or mentoring someone else or still pouring out . And I did that and um , so that's why I say surrender , because it's like , yes , I want this , but the Lord is like I've shared with you , I'm going to give you that , but today , this is what this is the assignment , this is what I want you to do , and so , um , I just I learned how to hear his voice , I learned how to surrender , and every day that looked very different .

Speaker 4

Yes , some days , honestly , I was in tears , oh yeah , and it's just like Lord , do you hear me ? And he just reassured me . Yeah , but this is what I need you to do today , and so one of the things that I take away from that whole experience is , when God speaks , there's so much life and promise , and yes , in his yes , yes , that if you have a word from him , you hold on to it . Yes , because he always , he always comes through , and it may not be when you want him to , but he always delivers .

Speaker 1

Yeah , yeah , so good , I think I've , I've , I've definitely had to always like hold onto his promise , right . Like what has he said to me oh , I'm reflecting on his track record in my life . Right and bringing out those receipts . You know like OK , if this is where he has me , let's . Let's go back two years ago , five years ago , 10 years ago whatever , and what did the Lord do then ?

Speaker 1

And using that to help me in that remain season of stillness , of being on the operating table . The operating table , um , I'll never forget . I love to walk and pray Uh , I don't do it as much as I used to , but , um , I remember one day I was walking back from taking my daughter to school and he was just like I need you to use your voice and surrender these things that you're concerned about .

Speaker 1

You know , and it was like Lord , I surrender my expectations for my children , for myself for my business Like I , I give it to you .

Speaker 4

Right .

Speaker 1

And I think , in order to remain , one of the things that I learned is , um , it is a giving up of expectations and outcomes what you thought , what I thought it would look like , what I thought it should look like , what I thought the timing would be oh , especially the timing , I'm like you know , that's a big one for me , because I'm like Lord , today , actually yesterday .

Speaker 1

But OK , if you didn't do it yesterday , do it today , actually yesterday . But okay , if you did do it yesterday , do it today . Um , but it's a , it's a will , it's a remaining is not passive . I guess that's what I'm trying to get at that it takes a choice and a decision and it is a dying daily at times um , which is what scripture talks about .

Speaker 1

So I don't know why I'm acting surprised , but you know it's . It is a process that we have to willingly go into Mm-hmm , um , and it can be very beautiful even though it is very difficult .

Speaker 4

Yes , yes , you know , you talked about giving up expectations . For me it's . I agree with that . It's giving up my expectations , but still expecting that he will do exactly what he's promised .

Speaker 4

So it's sort of Sheila lay down , because we create our own expectations . We pray and we say things like Lord , I need you to move in 24 hours , that's my expectation . But if he says I'm going to move period , then I hold on to that and just believe it , no matter how long it takes . So you give up your expectations , but you cling to his yes .

Speaker 1

Give up your expectations , but hold on to his promise . Yes , hold on to his character .

Speaker 5

Yes .

Speaker 1

Hold on to his word .

Speaker 2

You know he is .

Speaker 1

He is a man of his word , right . So to me the expectations

Active Abiding as Life Source

Speaker 1

are the like . I thought it was going to be purple Lord , and it's green , right , that's . That's a , that's a Kelly expectation you know , Um , but it's still the thing that it is . It's just not the color you thought it was going to be right , or it didn't sound the way that I thought it would sound , or whatever it is . Those are the , the self expectations that that I'm thinking about when I say you know , letting go of my expectations .

Speaker 2

That's a big deal for a visionary . It is Right , because if we're visionaries , we're driven by the things we see and we architect towards those things . Right , which is a God given gift . But he has the right to change our vision . That's right . He has the time . He has the right to change it at any time and we pray . It's his vision anyway . But sometimes there's a season for a vision and then when that season ends and it's time for a new one , we have to allow him to birth those things in us and it's time for a new one .

Speaker 4

We have to allow him to birth those things in us , and that takes remaining .

Speaker 2

The other thing I think about when we say remain is abide . Remain in me abide in me and that is active . Our faith in you know , being part of his life source , oh , Miles Monroe .

Speaker 3

You remember Miles Monroe ? Yes , absolutely .

Speaker 2

When God created the heavens , he spoke to the heavens . When he created the animals , he spoke to the earth . And when he created the fish , he spoke to the earth . And when he created the fish , he spoke to the seas . You remember this saying by Miles Monroe ?

Speaker 2

And so those things need to be connected to where they came from . So if the fish comes out of the ocean , it dies . If the animal doesn't live on the land and you throw it in the ocean , it dies . If a star falls out of the sky , it dies . But when he came to creating us , he spoke to himself .

Speaker 4

That's so powerful .

Speaker 2

And so if we're not remaining and abiding in him , we die yeah .

Speaker 4

Yeah . It reminds me of that scripture Maybe it was Paul You'll you'll correct me Um where he says it's in him that we live and we move and we have our very being . Yes , that's abiding .

Speaker 5

Yes , that's powerful . Yeah , that's so good . Remain in me .

Speaker 2

Yes , yes .

Speaker 1

And it's you know , that verse that says you know , in your presence is the fullness of joy .

Speaker 2

Right yeah .

Speaker 1

Pleasures forevermore . It's like we know these things , we can read them . I should say we could read them in the Bible . Um , but walking it out , I sometimes I feel like this may hurt some feelings , but I feel like I don't see very many people truly doing it .

Speaker 1

You know , and maybe they are and I just don't know it , and so they're not sharing . But I feel like remaining can feel very lonely and if you don't have the right community around you of other people who are also actively abiding , actively remaining you , you can feel a little crazy .

Speaker 4

Yeah , at times .

Speaker 1

So talk about community and the role of that in your own journeys .

Speaker 4

So that's , that's huge for me because you know , I'm a solo artist and for a long time , just very driven , very independent , very driven , very independent visionary drive do . And what the Lord has taught me is I do need community , but I'm also very selective about the community that I bring very close . And I have learned in every season I'm always praying God who and we've moved around a lot , so we've lived in various states , so I always feel like I'm restarting , rebuilding my community . But I've learned to pray and ask the Lord to bring the right people into my life and it's not just about me , but help us to connect in a way that we are mutual blessings to one another right .

Speaker 4

Where we really help build one another , and he's always been faithful to do that Right when we really help build one another , and he's always been faithful to do that .

Speaker 4

Yes , I can't say it's a community of 50 , you know , but it's a nice . It's just when the Lord does it , because I have . I don't know if you've experienced seeing someone and being like , oh , I need to connect with this person . And then it happens , yeah , and it's not exactly . Well , sometimes it's not what you want it to be . Yeah , it's like there wasn't a Lord , it wasn't a God thing . Yeah , and so even in connecting , I've learned to listen to the Holy Spirit .

Speaker 4

That's so good , yeah , because community is there's life . Yeah , yeah , so important .

Speaker 1

Now let's pull up for a chat with my besties , stephanie Blakely and Trina Jones . Now , let's pull up for a chat with my besties , stephanie Blakely and Trina Jones . Well , I think we , we learn from each other , right ? Yes , the Holy spirit shows up in our conversations and our friendship , but we learn from each other the journey that we walked with you , right ? Oh , absolutely For several years . And you know , yes ,

Authentic Friendship with Besties

Speaker 1

you know , there was some times I was like you , a good one , I know , and you're better , way better than me . Yeah , because I would have had an Angela Bassett moment or I would have went off on somebody , and we all know you ready to cut somebody .

Speaker 5

But that's the beautiful thing about our friendships Like we are , I'm going to laugh it off , and whatever I know , I got my two sidekicks that's ready to go in at any time , all the time . So that's balanced , though . But I but in that , Kelly , I think you've given me , both of you have given me the okay , take the nice girl hat off , and it's time to like use your power and authority . So I learned that from you guys too , because I can go on the well , you know , it's not that big a deal . You know let's , you know just , let's just be nice about it . You're like , no , it's not the time for that . So I learned you , you know how to .

Speaker 1

You know square up a little bit , and I couldn't yet , but I'm squaring up yeah , and , and I mean , you know , I'm kind of sort of working on being kinder gentler I'll give her credit , I'll give her credit ?

Speaker 3

yes , she is , because she's pausing and she's actually thinking about the different angles of how something might look or how something might be received . So you're right , you're , you're absolutely right , you are , yes , you are Ooh okay , no , you are , really you are .

Speaker 5

I see a difference . I really do . All joking aside , thanks , I do see a difference , I do .

Speaker 1

Okay , that's another thing . We tell each other the truth in love . Yeah , we do .

Speaker 5

Ooh , and it hurts sometimes , sometimes like it does not feel good and I don't want to hear all that . I know it's the truth , I just don't want to hear it . Yeah , all the time , yeah , and we always do that for each other . I think that's the beautiful thing about our friendship .

Speaker 1

Yes , we always do that in love yes , yeah , and I think I mean I was kind of hoping that we would talk about , like , what makes this what we have right , and I feel like we're doing that already . But what do y'all think are the ingredients of our friendship ? Like , how do we get here ? That's the question .

Speaker 3

It's genuine , it's authentic , it . It is authentic , right , yes , but I think that we're committed to our friendship and we don't go a week without talking , texting , laughing in some kind of way .

Speaker 5

we're committed to consistency is what I would say . That's good .

Speaker 3

And transparency and there's a desire , right , I think that it's like we're able to you deposit , but you get so much from that investment . Oh , I'll go finance , right , let's use it from a financial standpoint right . So when you invest in something , you want a return on it , and so , for me , I feel like it's a collective investment , it's not just my own , that's good . Right . So we're all giving to this relationship in a way that says I'm gonna get far more out of it than I could have ever imagined .

Speaker 5

Yeah , absolutely , absolutely . Also think it is , to your point , intentional . It's like if I don't hear from you in the next 48 hours , no , no , no , no , I'm sorry , 24 .

Speaker 2

No , no , no .

Speaker 5

Eight hours . Yeah , I'm doing a drive by . Yeah , yeah , it's . It's that kind of . Have you heard from her ?

Speaker 3

Okay , okay , we get someone has got her husband's phone number , I will call him .

Speaker 5

Right , it's that kind of . But that is what makes the relationship work . And I don't know about you guys , but I feel so loved , like I feel so loved . I know , I know that I am loved by the two of you and that makes me cry , but it makes me so happy and it fills me with so much joy .

Speaker 5

And you allow me to be silly , even in the moments that I'm like this is hard , but I can bounce with a silly and you guys , just let me be . You're like , you're so silly , but that is my . That's I'm free . I'm free to be who I am created to be with you guys , and that's what makes us work Any time of the day , any time of the day .

Speaker 3

I mean , let's play on that for a little bit , because when you start to talk about relationships and we've all have had them right how we get through difficult moments right we don't make each other feel like we're judging and it's punitive , right . We never , we're never that way and I think that if I look back and I reflect on past relationships that I've had , it wasn't reciprocal or it was more judgmental , and we create this space , this environment where we can all be who we are genuinely .

Speaker 1

And I think about to me one of the pivotal moments , I'll say , in our friendship . So I'm going to tell it like it is , because y'all being real nice and cute right now , so you and I would randomly run into each other at our two favorite stores I'm not going to name them because they're not sponsored for me yet so they don't get any shine but we kept . We would randomly run into each other . Our husbands knew of each other long before we , you know , we were dating or married and all of that Um , but what we always had was super casual hey , good to see you , you know , while we're out running errands or whatever . And then we had a random encounter , um , late at night on a Saturday , right before an Easter , and I was like , well , where do y'all go to church ? And then , that's how , you know , we started seeing each other on a consistent basis . And then you you already know what I'm going to say oh Lord , you're going to tell this story .

Speaker 5

I'm going to tell the story . Are we telling all Everything take ?

Speaker 1

everything Okay . You know I was . I will go ahead on record and say I was reluctant , I was skeptical , to be friends . I wasn't looking for a friend , I was good . You know , y'all know I'm kind of like I don't need anybody , I'm good , right , this one was persistent . I called you . I called you what ? What did I say ? You say it because I don't want to say you know what I said , you do know .

Speaker 5

I don't .

Speaker 1

I called you , you know , like a friend stalker .

Speaker 5

Well , you said no one's this nice , it's not genuine . Huh , you said no one's this nice , it's not genuine .

Speaker 1

Yeah , no one's that happy all the time . I was just like I didn't believe it . I didn't , and she was always smiling why are you looking at that ?

Speaker 3

I'm just waiting for you to to say more about her .

Speaker 1

Oh , she was just always smiling , always happy . It's always sweet . I'm like what's the angle that's ?

Speaker 3

what I was waiting for , yeah .

Speaker 1

What's you after ? What's the angle ? But she was after friendship , right , and I , I , she , she wore me down , she wore me down and I'm glad she did .

Speaker 5

Yeah , and then I remember a time when we had gone out to dinner .

Speaker 1

yes , yes

Building Genuine Relationships

Speaker 1

, that's the part . That's what I was gonna say go ahead .

Speaker 5

We had gone out to dinner and I don't know what you two were sensing , but you pulled me to the side , yes , and you were like , wait a minute if you think you're gonna run out of this friendship . Um , you got another thing coming . You are stuck with us . I don't know . I think I was .

Speaker 5

I was going through , I was going you , I was going through at the time , and I was just ready to shut down all friendships , all relationships , because I'm like , I'm gonna go through this on , yeah , and I never forget that night . Y'all I guess y'all call yourself having a talk with me , because you both cornered me , do you not remember this ? And you were like you don't remember .

Speaker 3

I think so You're it's , you're it's coming back to me now .

Speaker 5

I can't believe you don't remember this ? Oh , you were the main leader . You were like wait a minute , Look here . We don't know what's going on with you . But if you think you know how you do , you think you're going to get rid of us . You've got another thing coming . We see you backing off . We see you like shutting down on us .

Speaker 1

You don . We felt like you were not being your full , authentic self , like it seemed like you were trying to cover and like be what you thought we wanted you to be . And we were like no , we want the real , that's what we said . We want the real Trina , that's what we said . And you got her .

Speaker 3

We got a whole lot of her .

Speaker 2

She was candy coated at first though .

Speaker 3

Yeah , she was candy coated at first . You were a nice little , cool little M&M . What color do you want to be ?

Speaker 1

She's still candy coated ? Yeah , she is , because that's just who , that is who you are , but it just . There was an aspect that wasn't Elaborate .

Speaker 3

What do you mean ? Candy coated ? What do you mean elaborate ? There's a shell . I mean from a sugar standpoint , there's a there , but but when I , when I use that as the analogy , there was this shell . There was a shell around you and you weren't allowing us to truly enjoy the inner most of you , true , and then that we were able to break that down , but you've always been so sweet .

Speaker 5

I agree . But I explained that to you guys , with my childhood growing up not having a lot of stability , not having a lot of good , solid friends , that that was hard for me . And so it's like OK , you can , can come close , but only this close and no closer like , because then you may not like the real me right , because so much baggage you had , you know , so much childhood trauma and baggage , but you guys were not having it at all yeah , that was it to me .

Speaker 1

For me that was like a big pivotal moment in our friendship , because we've all had friends and , um , I've had some great friendships , but if I think about the distinction between some of the other friendships I've had and ours is that I don't think I've always um , I'm not sure I've always had found friends where , at our core , we were truly sort of going after the same things in life , right Like a pride from a priority standpoint , like at our core core , right Like a pride from a priority standpoint , like at our core core , and so that is when I have sensed friendships shifting for me personally .

Speaker 1

But I would also say that . So I think that there's a lot , even though we're very different . Our personalities are different , the way God has used us , transformed us , grown us has been different , but there's this like core alignment around values and like being sold out for the Lord and wanting to be better versions of what we had growing up . You know , like there's just so many things that are in common that I think has allowed us to evolve , because the people we are today not the same women when we first met and started becoming friends .

Speaker 5

Completely agree , but I think we've given each other the space to do that

The Core of Lasting Friendship

Speaker 5

and I think we are allowed to evolve at our own pace to your point Steph with no judgment , no judgment .

Speaker 3

That's the differentiator , I think you know we have all had friendships . This one isn't judgmental , it's not punitive , it's not a competition , it's not jealousy , it's not any of those things . Right , and when we're able to come together in that way , we can be who we are who God ? Made us to be , and that's why I feel like our friendship flourishes so well .

Speaker 5

I agree , and I think I could .

Speaker 5

For me , I can think back to pivotal moments in my life when your voices have been in my head . Yeah , right , um , I think about when , tyler , when we rushed him to the hospital and I don't know if you guys remember this , but I came out and I called you both on the phone and the one thing you said was like , okay , cry , have your moment . But now it's time to be mama bear . And I went into that mode without even thinking about it , but it was because of you guys . Like , ok , we give you a moment , you can have it , cry , get it out , but now you need to go in and be strong and be mama bear and get your baby taken care of . And not even knowing at the time what we were even facing , I knew it was bad , I just didn't know how bad it was . But you both were my first phone call when , when I , when I did find out and you were like okay , okay , we gonna let you have it , but now it's time to get busy yeah and I'll never .

Speaker 5

I'll never forget how you jumped in and gave guidance and direction when I wasn't even thinking . So I think about all those pivotal moments in our friendships and the hardships .

Speaker 1

Before you move on , I want to encourage you , take a few moments to practice stillness and ask Holy Spirit what he wants to say to you right now . If you're feeling an invitation to go deeper , head over to IamKellyJohnsoncom to download this season's companion resource . Thanks so much for flowing with me .